#GingerProblems: When I Was In Grade 3 I Made People Like Me

Published on by canadian


I'm sick and tired of arguing with losers on Reddit who think they had five female friends ever since grade 3. Losers.

So I take everything I said before back. When I was in school the other kids liked me or I made them like me...


"My Führer..."

"You freckled and kids with freckles look diseased. The
girls who had previously liked you now think
your disgusting."

"Your good-looking blond male friends fled you
in grade 2 when they got the impression that
you liked Asian girls."

"It's predicted that the Marxist school board will put a
black girl in your class and you'll quickly become
friends with her. You'll never recover from
 that. Later your classmates might 
pretend they like you but they'll
always think your perverted on a 
subconscious-level."

"And Nancy, that girl who liked you for a whole week
before her brother accused her of being in love with
you, if she hates you too much for being
friends with a black girl she'll be
dating a black guy by
college."

"Everyone leave the room. These men will stay here:
Keitel, Jodl, and Burgdorf."


"I'm not going to do one of those Downfall parody 
rants. Just go ahead and gas the entire class
with Zyklon-B. Also be sure to gas Principal
David Beynon* for his role in creating
the idea that when you flood Ontario with
people from racist 3rd World shitholes
that still have human slavery while
going on and on about the Holocaust
vibrancy happens and it becomes OK to be
gay."

*what all-white school did David Beynon send his kids too?

Where would #POC and teen LGBT be if girls hadn't been disgusted with the boys who had made friends with minorities in elementary school and everything happened on a subconscious-level after that? 

Pearl Jam's Jeremy

The Holocaust Museum Should Update Their Poem...

"First the school boards Hitler/Holocausted to death the better looking boys with green eyes, brown hair and freckles and I did not speak out because on a subconscious level I was disgusted by how when I was in grade 3 they only played with minorities.

Then the school boards Hitler/Holocausted to death the better looking boys with dark eyes, black hair, pale skin and freckles and I did not speak out because I thought the fat guy who looked liked that was amusing.

Then the school boards Hitler/Holocausted to death other better looking boys with brown hair and freckles who were in remedial and I did not speak out because I was too busy figuring out that a redhead guy was gay because, on a subconscious level, I was disgusted by how when you add Asians to an elementary school the redheaded boy played with girls.

I didn't even notice when Seinfeld was a new show that there weren't any fat or tiny little black guys at my school because I was too busy watching Will Smith on TV. So I did not speak out."

Adolf Eichmann never picked up a gun and killed anyone. Neither did Spielberg or Ontario's teachers.














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